EXCUSE ME: The grammar queen

// Odd | EXCUSE ME: The grammar queen
Email to a friend Plain text Print version // Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font

While our first lady is out there bulldozing territories and taking no prisoners, people are busy laughing and forwarding BB, Facebook and YouTube messages of her grammatical carpet bombing to each other. Keep laughing all of you that think the Dame is grammatically lame and a better national comedian than an ambassador that can’t sing the national anthem. If you think she is too uncouth to be our next first lady, keep laughing while she undauntedly bludgeons her way to victory.

I am not a student of politics, but I doubt if extracting her special brand of rhetoric will move this iroko-woman from her current position as the First Lady of Nigeria come April. And for Nigerians who are sick and tired of PDP’s monstrosity, giggling at the Dame’s ‘broken bottle’ is not going to stop them from driving this molue called Nigeria into the Lagoon.

Moreover, having watched the recent NN24 presidential debate a.k.a. ‘The Wind That Blew Feathers off the Chicken’s Yansh’, I am sure many of you would have seen that it is not only her that has issues with the foreign language. We all saw some speak as if they were haggling goat meat at Ekpoma Market, and others chew the language as if it was a piece of hot cocoyam.

Believe me, if it were to be the Dame that was invited to a televised debate, she would not jet off to some unimportant neighbouring country to take cover and avoid a golden opportunity to push her manifesto. In fact, if it was politically expedient for her, she would have said “Jojo darling, let I go and showed them. I know the lady that are interviewing us and our opponents is once a children; I can mishandle them.” And by now, none of us would be thinking that Shekarau should go straight to Harvard and lecture Political Debates Articulation 101, if he doesn’t win the presidential election.

If I tell you I have not cringed at some of the Dame’s choice of words during public speeches, which sometimes are comparable to a man wearing a custom’s shirt on police trousers, I would be lying. But through her entire lexis and structure comedy, I have also seen a solid woman – no pun intended, please – building a formidable grass roots base and garnering supporters for her husband.

This brings me to the issue of the other women, the other presidential aspirants’ wives. Where are they in this whole political drama unfolding round their husbands? Shouldn’t they be marching and publicly campaigning like the Dame? I am very anxious to experience the Michelle Obama in the ‘refined’ breeds. I am interested in witnessing their finesse that will make the Ozigono market woman vote for their husbands, the Queen’s English that will sway the Abonima woman to cast her vote to unseat a pilfering behemoth party. Staying behind the scene and waiting for their husbands to kill the elephant before bringing out their stainless steel cutlery in state dinners is not going to move this caterpillar campaigner. Many voters are waiting to relate with the other wives, but they are hiding either behind hijabs or away in some country following their husband’s campaign via BlackBerry messenger. Or better still, laughing at the affable ‘Umblerra’ woman’s grammatical explosions.

If you don’t want to hear the Dame referring to orphans as widows in the next four years – roll up that designer skirt, drop that LV bag you are hauling around in Dubai, remove your high-heels and hit the ground running like the Grammar Queen. And while you are at it, save your ‘pepperless’ English and speak what majority of the Nigerian people will understand. And if you don’t understand me, check the statistics of Nigeria’s literacy figures and go figure. FYI, the Dame’s Sozaboy-meets-Zebrudaya kind of English is just perfect for a very large percentage of voters. Those that speak Oxford-type English are analyzing the risk of attending political rallies in their cosy offices and homes or thinking of jetting out of the country come April.

Why do I find the first lady’s antics intriguing? Because I myself was ‘once a children’ in the village and I can relate with her type – they don’t give up to a mere handicap. She belongs to a breed that is not easily intimidated by hecklers. In short, the fuel that galvanizes them comes from people’s jests.

I have seen women like her ‘bought’ their husband’s fights and rub men’s noses on the ground. I have seen women like her throw away their wrapper, left with only obeniku and fight assailants to a standstill, regardless of who is laughing. They are the type that stand solidly behind their husbands and help them build palaces and castles. And, in my place, such women are called Ojekwebhudu. If you ask me, I think Jonathan’s better luck is marrying Patience, because we now know that her outspokenness compensates heavily for our president’s quietness.

I laud our double-barrel-shot-gun-campaigner, our grammar queen, the superstar of our new curfew, the dame, the Okrika amazonian first lady – because according to her immortal words to Nigerians both home and abroad, especially those that have dual-nationality, “We should have love for our fellow Nigerians irrespective of their nationality.”

Tagged : 2014 World Cup, Egypt Army Overthrows President Mohamed Morsi

Headlines Newsview all

P-Square involved in a ghastly auto crash on their way back from a concert in Ibadan

Peter and Paul Okoye of the popular pop duo, Psquare, on Sunday, escaped death by whiskers in a ghastly auto-crash along the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway. The Sensational ...

Fresh trouble for Goodluck Jonathan and Alison-Madueke

As president Muhammadu Buhari continues his anti-corruption fight, fresh trouble is already brewing up for the Goodluck Jonathan administration, as the probe of the past ...

Nigerian Air Force Plane Crash In Kaduna Leaves Seven Dead

A plane belonging to the Nigerian Air Force (NAF) air crashed Saturday morning at the old Nigeria Defense Academy (NDA) in Kaduna also known as ...

Can You Imagine!! Why I Am Unmarried - Dbanj

Dbanj has revealed why he stalled his plans to get married at 30.The singer who has been linked to several beauties revealed to Saturday Beats… “While ... Full story

OMG!! Inspiring Tales Of Life Prisoners Studying For University Degrees (Must Read)

After spending a day with inmates of the Ikoyi and Kirikiri prisons, Lagos, KUNLE FALAYI brings an account of what it is like to be ... Full story

Shocking!! Ex-Vatican Diplomat Accused In Child S3x Abuse Dies Before Trail

The Vatican on Friday announced the death of Jozef Wesolowski, an ex-diplomat who was to be the first high-ranking Vatican official to stand trial for ... Full story

65 Year Old Landlord, Rapes 7 Year Old Girl For Ritual Purposes

In another case that has highlighted the increasing child sexual abuses in Nigeria, a 65-year-old landlord, in Akowonjo area of Lagos, Mr. Ganiyu Sani, has ... Full story

Revealed!! ISIS Most Wanted, Ahmed Al-Assir Was Coming On A Special Invitation To Nigeria

According to a shocking report on Daily Trust, the ISIS leader, Ahmed Al-Assir, who was arrested in Lebanon on his way to Nigeria lately, was ... Full story

Nigerian Woman Let Off £145,000 NHS Bill After Giving Birth To Quintuplets In UK

A Nigerian health tourist who cost the NHS £145,000 having quintuplets has said she never even saw a bill. Bimbo Ayelabola, 37, had to have a ...

Mother And Daughter "Strip" And Sleep With Sugar DaddiesTo Raise £56,000 For Plastic Surgery

Kayla Morris, 20, from Rugby, has worked as a stripper to fund surgery Mother Georgina Clarke, 38, is desperate to look like 'idol' Katie Price   Previous £800-a-week arrangement ... Full story

Sacked Employee Shoots Former Colleagues On Live TV - Video

Disgruntled WDBJ-TV ex-employee Vester Lee Flanagan live tweeted a video of his on-air shooting of reporter Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward this morning in ... Full story

Comment on: EXCUSE ME: The grammar queen

Rate this article

0

Breaking News

(Do You Agree?) Tonto Dikeh Reveals Her Engagement Ring Costs Over 12 Million Naira (Photo)

For the past few weeks, Nollywood actress, has been trending due to his marriage brouhaha.Just yesterday, her Mr. X, Oladunni Churchill, stormed to her hometown ...

Liz Benson, Shan George, Other Nollywood Actresses Visit New Rivers State Governor (Photos)

It was a filled and joyful sunday service at Obudu Cattle Ranch as Nollywood veteran actresses, Liz Benson, Shan George, actresses Halima Abubakar and ChaCha ...

How Ebonyi State Governor 'Forced' Entertainers From His State To Come Back Home (Photos)

Which other way would have been best to drag entertainers who are indigenes of Ebonyi State back home, if not to hold an award on ...

How Psquare, Kaffy's Husband Almost Died In An Accident (Photos)

Peter and Paul Okoye of Psquare music fame, alongside Kaffy's husband (who is their official drummer) and their assistant manager narrowly escaped from an accident ...

Exposed! Chelsea, Mikel Obi 'has a secret son and daughter by two different women living in the UK'

Chelsea footballer John Obi Mikel has a secret son and daughter by two different women living in the UK, it has been claimed today Chelsea star, ...

Top 5 Celebrity Couples 2015

The year is fast coming to an end and there are couples in the industry that have either been seen on the red carpet together ...

PHOTOS: Pastor Bakare’s First Daughter Weds In London

The first daughter of Pastor Tunde Bakare, Olubunmi walked down the aisle with her heartthrob, Olaoluwa Fabode on Saturday, August 29. A number of popular faces ...

It Was Rough For Me Before Creating Skelewu, Kukere, Sekem Dance----MC Galaxy

Popular singer, MC Galaxy, is now a household name in the Nigerian entertainment industry and gradually gaining global attention as he continues to update his ...

Tonto Dikeh Marries Her Man, Oladunni Churchill Traditionally Today (Photos)

River State-born actress who has been addressing herself as Mrs. Tonto Charity Churchill, did her traditional wedding today at her hometown Rumukani in Rumukwuta, Obiokpor ...

Revealed: Why Femi Falana's Son, Falz Wants to Marry a Celeb

Fast rising singer, Folarin Falana better known as FALZ THE BAHD GUY, has hinted that he would like to marry a celebrity when he plans ...