EXCUSE ME: The grammar queen

// Odd | EXCUSE ME: The grammar queen
Email to a friend Plain text Print version // Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font

While our first lady is out there bulldozing territories and taking no prisoners, people are busy laughing and forwarding BB, Facebook and YouTube messages of her grammatical carpet bombing to each other. Keep laughing all of you that think the Dame is grammatically lame and a better national comedian than an ambassador that can’t sing the national anthem. If you think she is too uncouth to be our next first lady, keep laughing while she undauntedly bludgeons her way to victory.

I am not a student of politics, but I doubt if extracting her special brand of rhetoric will move this iroko-woman from her current position as the First Lady of Nigeria come April. And for Nigerians who are sick and tired of PDP’s monstrosity, giggling at the Dame’s ‘broken bottle’ is not going to stop them from driving this molue called Nigeria into the Lagoon.

Moreover, having watched the recent NN24 presidential debate a.k.a. ‘The Wind That Blew Feathers off the Chicken’s Yansh’, I am sure many of you would have seen that it is not only her that has issues with the foreign language. We all saw some speak as if they were haggling goat meat at Ekpoma Market, and others chew the language as if it was a piece of hot cocoyam.

Believe me, if it were to be the Dame that was invited to a televised debate, she would not jet off to some unimportant neighbouring country to take cover and avoid a golden opportunity to push her manifesto. In fact, if it was politically expedient for her, she would have said “Jojo darling, let I go and showed them. I know the lady that are interviewing us and our opponents is once a children; I can mishandle them.” And by now, none of us would be thinking that Shekarau should go straight to Harvard and lecture Political Debates Articulation 101, if he doesn’t win the presidential election.

If I tell you I have not cringed at some of the Dame’s choice of words during public speeches, which sometimes are comparable to a man wearing a custom’s shirt on police trousers, I would be lying. But through her entire lexis and structure comedy, I have also seen a solid woman – no pun intended, please – building a formidable grass roots base and garnering supporters for her husband.

This brings me to the issue of the other women, the other presidential aspirants’ wives. Where are they in this whole political drama unfolding round their husbands? Shouldn’t they be marching and publicly campaigning like the Dame? I am very anxious to experience the Michelle Obama in the ‘refined’ breeds. I am interested in witnessing their finesse that will make the Ozigono market woman vote for their husbands, the Queen’s English that will sway the Abonima woman to cast her vote to unseat a pilfering behemoth party. Staying behind the scene and waiting for their husbands to kill the elephant before bringing out their stainless steel cutlery in state dinners is not going to move this caterpillar campaigner. Many voters are waiting to relate with the other wives, but they are hiding either behind hijabs or away in some country following their husband’s campaign via BlackBerry messenger. Or better still, laughing at the affable ‘Umblerra’ woman’s grammatical explosions.

If you don’t want to hear the Dame referring to orphans as widows in the next four years – roll up that designer skirt, drop that LV bag you are hauling around in Dubai, remove your high-heels and hit the ground running like the Grammar Queen. And while you are at it, save your ‘pepperless’ English and speak what majority of the Nigerian people will understand. And if you don’t understand me, check the statistics of Nigeria’s literacy figures and go figure. FYI, the Dame’s Sozaboy-meets-Zebrudaya kind of English is just perfect for a very large percentage of voters. Those that speak Oxford-type English are analyzing the risk of attending political rallies in their cosy offices and homes or thinking of jetting out of the country come April.

Why do I find the first lady’s antics intriguing? Because I myself was ‘once a children’ in the village and I can relate with her type – they don’t give up to a mere handicap. She belongs to a breed that is not easily intimidated by hecklers. In short, the fuel that galvanizes them comes from people’s jests.

I have seen women like her ‘bought’ their husband’s fights and rub men’s noses on the ground. I have seen women like her throw away their wrapper, left with only obeniku and fight assailants to a standstill, regardless of who is laughing. They are the type that stand solidly behind their husbands and help them build palaces and castles. And, in my place, such women are called Ojekwebhudu. If you ask me, I think Jonathan’s better luck is marrying Patience, because we now know that her outspokenness compensates heavily for our president’s quietness.

I laud our double-barrel-shot-gun-campaigner, our grammar queen, the superstar of our new curfew, the dame, the Okrika amazonian first lady – because according to her immortal words to Nigerians both home and abroad, especially those that have dual-nationality, “We should have love for our fellow Nigerians irrespective of their nationality.”

Tagged : 2014 World Cup, Egypt Army Overthrows President Mohamed Morsi

Headlines Newsview all

Joy Williams, 23 Year Old Nigerian Dies In Thailand After Illegal Buttock Augmentation Surgery

Joy Williams, 23, from Thamesmead, was described as a 'caring and funny' girl who was 'loved by everybody. She died on October 23 after travelling to ... Full story

Nigerian Soldiers Arrested For Working As Spies For Boko Haram

Soldiers in Nigeria’s military may be working as moles for Boko Haram, giving the terrorist group vital information about the military’s strategies and tactics. News site, ... Full story

Centers for Disease Control Admits Ebola Can Be Spread Through The Air

Ebola is a lot easier to catch than health officials have admitted — and can be contracted by contact with a doorknob contaminated by a ... Full story

Boko Haram Terrorists Invade Adamawa State, Besiege Mubi

Hundreds of Nigerian soldiers are reportedly leaving the town of Mubi in Adamawa State, as members of the terrorists’ group, Boko Haram, make advances to ... Full story

Nigeria's First Lesbian Wedding Takes Place In Lagos

The end times are finally here. Some of the things we used to say can never happen in Nigeria are beginning to unfold and unfurl ... Full story

Stephen Keshi Returns As Coach of Super Eagles

Chris Giwa, the Nigeria Football Association (NFA) Chairman who was restored to office on Thursday by a Jos court ruling, said on Monday that sacked ... Full story

Escaped Chibok Girl Reveals How Boko Haram Militants Raped, Beat Them Every Night

He soon began to threaten me with a knife to have sex with him and when I refused, he brought out his gun, warning that ...

Kenneth Okolie, Former Mr Nigeria Eyes Politics

Nollywood actor and model, Kenneth Okolie, has disclosed that dating an actress is the worst mistake an actor can make. The former Mr. Nigeria, who is ...

Pastor Enoch Adeboye Condemns Marriage

 Contrary to what the bible says that a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall ... Full story

Senzo Meyiwa, South African Captain And Goalkeeper Shot Dead By Cell Phone Thieves

The South African police have confirmed that its national football team’s captain and goalkeeper, Senzo Meyiwa, 27, have died after being shot at his home ... Full story

TB Joshua To Compensate Families Of Victims $4,500 Each

 The General Overseer of Synagogue Church Of All Nations, Prophet T.B Joshua has said through the church spokesperson, Kirsten nematandani that, the church will be ... Full story

Comment on: EXCUSE ME: The grammar queen

Rate this article

0

Breaking News

I Enjoy Kissing in………Femi Ogedengbe

Nollywood actor cum director, Femi Ogedengbe, has revealed that challenges faced in the movie industry is about trying to do things out of the ordinary ...

Nigeria escape FIFA ban again as court dismisses case against NFF

Nigeria on Thursday escaped the wrath of FIFA as Justice Ambrose Allagoa of the Federal High court sitting in Jos, Plateau State on Thursday withdrew ...

As Politicians, We Will Still Be Loyal……..Kate Henshaw, Desmond Elliot Reveals

Politics could be described as a game for the strong and brave minds and at the end of the tunnel, the best or favoured candidate ...

Go Back and Apologize to People you Have Offended………Segun Arinze advises

Veteran Nollywood actor, Segun Arinze, who has had a share of the good and bad sides of a celebrity, has disclosed that stardom comes with ...

I Was Given A Baby Girl in The Dream……….Actress, Uche Ogbodo Reveals

Rumours will come and go likewise challenges but what keeps one going is the ability to stay strong especially when those rumours are not true ...

I Closed my Night Club Because I Want to Repent………. Akeem Shodeinde

Popular Lagos socialite and Movida night Club boss, Akeem Shodeinde, in an interview with Encomium Magazine, disclosed that the reason for the closure of his ...

Nigeria Escapes FIFA’s Axe

After the Football’s world governing body FIFA had given African champions Nigeria until midday on Friday to overturn the court ruling and reinstate Pinnick or ...

Nigerian celebrities Pray for Ice Prince

Today, Thursday October 30, super talented rapper, and Chocolate City artiste, Ice Prince tops another year on planet earth.The father of one who recently dropped ...

How Majek Fashek Was Dragged Out Of Stage

The annual Felabration may have come and gone, but memories of happenings at the well-attended event linger on the mind of many that thronged out ...

Letter To All My Single Ladies...

Once upon a time, I experienced a very thunderous breakup and for the next couple of weeks, I spent time, copious amounts of time, pouring ...