What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?

// Romance | What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?
Email to a friend Plain text Print version // Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font

If you watch medical dramas, like me, you might have either heard of or watched the show called Private Practice

In the show, there was a woman called Lorraine who was unable to have a baby and so used her sister as a surrogate, using her husbands sperm and her sister’s eggs. The sister eventually got pregnant.  However, it soon came to light that the sister and the husband were having an affair. And their explanation they had to offer was that they were in love.

I’m sure that one has heard stories like this often. Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe you’ve never even heard about something like this before. But it stirred something in me that I just had to write about.

Everyone wants to meet that special person who completes them and makes them feel special. But the lengths to which we go, in the name of love are simply depressing. Does falling in love mean I have to stomp on friendships, marriages, sisterhood, and all manner of relationships which should be sacred simply because I want so badly to be in “love” ?

I cannot say that men are more guilty of this or that women are more guilty of this because even if we say that women chase married men, there are men who chase married women as well. One could say that men are less concerned about love than women are and even if a man is chasing a married woman it could just be for the thrill or becuase he just wants sex. But on the other hand, there are also married men who go out of their way to have girlfriends  who know fully well that they are married.

But the issue is, why go after someone who’s married or in a relationship  in the first place? And why don’t married people respect their own vows?

In the film of  ”He’s just not that into you” , a character called Mary asked her friend who was contemplating having an affair with a married man, this question ;

Mary ;  ”What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to just let them pass you by?”

Assuming the answer to this question was no, this basically means that if the love of your life was married, you would go out of your way to tempt him into being with you simply because he might be the “one”.

We need to attach some measure of realism to this argument. For instance, there are close to 7 billion people on the planet. Which means that the odds of that person being the one are very, very slim. Let’s assume he leaves his wife to be with you, and you eventually get married. So after your marriage vows have been taken, you meet someone else whom you like for some unexplainable reason. A part of you wants to say ” What if this new guy could be the one, and I’ve made a mistake?” Are you seriously going to leave the person you encouraged to break his marriage vows for another person , and keep moving on to the next person you are attracted to simply because you keep chasing an idea of the “One” ?

The idea here is that there are very many people in the world, and you are going to be attracted to very many of those people. If you keep following the tune of attraction, then you are just going to be chasing the wind for a very long time even though you know it won’t get you where you want to be.  All I’m trying to say here is that self – restraint goes a long way.

It says a lot for the type of society we live in when people justify cheating because the person they are doing it with may be the love of their lives. Why do we keep chasing this idea of  Mr. /Mrs. Perfect  to the extent that we can tell the world to go to blazes even when our conscience is clearly telling us otherwise?  I think this  dream of finding  Mr./Mrs. Perfect , who will love you unconditionally and never attempt to change you , doesn’t do anything but create unrealistic expectations on other people who are only human. It just places too much pressure on another person to be all the things you wish you were. Hence the phrase “he/she makes me a better person”. And that is just a selfish idea because nobody can really make you a better person, except you.

Attraction is a part of love, but it isn’t all of it. Personally I think the test of love is not how long the attraction lasts, but whether you can commit to that person. As long as you can find the willingness to fight all forms of temptations ( and there will be a LOT of them) then nothing can ever really come between you and your other half. And that is what a lot of people forget . It is a test you will have to take over and over again, for as long as you are married and you always have to pass.

However, my answer to that question is yes. I believe that saying yes means saying “I will let you go, not because I don’t want you, but because this is just one more reason why I deserve something fantastic. I want to be a good person before my future partner comes along, not after they do, and I don’t want to carry more baggage than I already have. ”

It’s not everything you see in a store that you should , or you can have. Most of us have to save our money and pick what we think we really want and we have to be happy about our choices.  In the same vein, it’s not every man I see that I should fall in love with, and even if I have already fallen in love with that person, I have to respect that he is off the shelf and let him walk away. After all, if I cannot respect another’s marriage vows, who will respect mine?

Tagged : TB Joshua, Rita Dominic, Unlikeliest Couples In Sports, 168 passengers drown, Clifford Sule, British Couple Smuggle Nigerian Child, Naomi Nuhu Bajoga, Namibia coach quits

Headlines Newsview all

N4 Million, Human Parts & Ammunition Found With Ritual Killer In Benin

A man in Benin City, Edo State, who succeeded in fooling people into thinking he was mad, has turned out to be a ritual killer ... Full story

Popular Lagos Woman Stripped And Beaten For Stealing Brazilian Hair

Some ladies have dumped their boyfriend just because the guys couldn’t give them N50,000+ to buy the rave of the moment – Brazilian Hair. They ...

Boko Haram pays N500,000 to recruits!

Boko Haram recruits members, not just from Nigeria, Cameroon and Chad, it also gets recruits from Niger Republic who it pays N500, 000. However, their ...

Ogun State Politician Bashorun Bayo Awosanya Violently Assaults Wife

According to an NGO, the woman in this Picture is the wife of a strong Ogun-state APC chieftain named Bashorun Bayo Awosanya. He reportedly attacked ...

Barima Sydney Admits Ghanaian Artists Use Juju

Is the entertainment industry in Ghana this diabolic? Weeks ago, we were stunned when Pink FM presenter Eric Akoto raised alarm that some of his ... Full story

Banky W Plays Bestman Role In Tiwa Savage Wedding

It's no longer news that female Pop singer, Tiwa Savage and her husband/manager, Tunji Balogun, popularly called, Tee Billz are staging their fairytale white wedding ... Full story

Actor Joseph Benjamin Covers RB Magazine April/May Issue

Blazing the cover of RB Magazine’s April/May 2014 issue is the stunning look of multiple award winning actor and co-host of the MTN Project Fame reality ... Full story

Nollywood Actor Chris Nkulor Is Dead

Chris Nkulor, a prolific Nollywood actor, has recently passed on. The actor had earlier this month been diagnosed of a kidney ailment, and this was ...

Boko Haram: Abducted Chibok School Girls Estimated To Be 234

The number of secondary school girls still under Boko Haram captivity is more than the figure widely circulated. There are 234 of them missing from the ... Full story

Lola Omotayo-Okoye Replies Haters Who Blame Her For Psquare Break Up

It seems people are beginning to blame Peter Okoye’s wife, Lola Omotayo for the sad Psquare’s separation. Fans are calling her all sorts of names like ... Full story

Paul Okoye Breaks Silence On Psquare Split

The Psquare Family: Peter and Paul Okoye with wives Lola Omotayo, Anita Isamah and children – Andre, Aliona and Cameron. As the on-going controversy in the ... Full story

Comment on: What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?

Rate this article

0

Breaking News

Peter Okoye's Wife, Lola Omotayo Speaks On P-Square's Rumoured Breakup

Since the rummoured breakup of P-Square sprung, there have been tales that the wife of Peter Okoye, Lola Omotayo, was responsible for it. Some people ...

Cossy Orjiakor Thinks Marriage

Nollywood actress, Cossy Orjiakor may not have acted in lots of movies, but she has successfully substituted that for series of issues, which have kept ...

Fans Blasts Juliet Ibrahim Over Shopping Spree At H & M

Ghanaian actress cum singer, Juliet Ibrahim, who jetted out to Amsterdam to represent her country at the International Kidney Cancer Coalition Conference, in Netherlands, has ...

Meet Mr. Nigeria 2014 Contestants

It is that time of the year again to crown the next Mr Nigeria 2014. Silverbird Group, organisers of the contest, has unveiled the 20 ...

MC Abbey Bags Award Of Excellence

Seasoned comedian, MC Abbey was recently honoured by a church as he was given an award of excellence. The handsome entertained was reportedly rewarded for ...

Tonto Dikeh, Frank Artus, Zack Orji, Others For ‘Mama Africa’ Premiere

Come Sunday, May 4, 2014, all roads will lead to The Filmhouse Cinemas, located at Leisure Mall, Adeniran Ogunsanya Road in Surulere, Lagos for the ...

D'banj Visits Bomb Blast Victims At Abuja

Following the bomb attack at Nyanya in Abuja last week, music ariste, Dapo Oyebanjo aka D'Banj, on Tuesday, visited the victims and urged the youths ...

Solidstar Shoots Video For Super Eagles Theme Song

Nigerian singer, Joshua Inyiezo, popularly known as Solidstar, is currently shooting the Super Eagles’ official 2014 FIFA World Cup theme song, Nigeriafilms.com can authoritatively report. ...

Mercy Johnson, Chika Ike Deny Beef Rumour

Over the weekend, it was reported that Nollywood damsels; Mercy Johnson Okojie and Chika Ike were not in talking terms. According to reports, the two ...

Omotola Gets MTV Personality Of The Year Award Nomination

Nollywood actress, Omotola Jolade-Ekeinde is no doubt having it good for her especially after her Times magazine recognition. The beautiful mother of four has been ...