What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?

// Romance | What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?
Email to a friend Plain text Print version // Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font

If you watch medical dramas, like me, you might have either heard of or watched the show called Private Practice

In the show, there was a woman called Lorraine who was unable to have a baby and so used her sister as a surrogate, using her husbands sperm and her sister’s eggs. The sister eventually got pregnant.  However, it soon came to light that the sister and the husband were having an affair. And their explanation they had to offer was that they were in love.

I’m sure that one has heard stories like this often. Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe you’ve never even heard about something like this before. But it stirred something in me that I just had to write about.

Everyone wants to meet that special person who completes them and makes them feel special. But the lengths to which we go, in the name of love are simply depressing. Does falling in love mean I have to stomp on friendships, marriages, sisterhood, and all manner of relationships which should be sacred simply because I want so badly to be in “love” ?

I cannot say that men are more guilty of this or that women are more guilty of this because even if we say that women chase married men, there are men who chase married women as well. One could say that men are less concerned about love than women are and even if a man is chasing a married woman it could just be for the thrill or becuase he just wants sex. But on the other hand, there are also married men who go out of their way to have girlfriends  who know fully well that they are married.

But the issue is, why go after someone who’s married or in a relationship  in the first place? And why don’t married people respect their own vows?

In the film of  ”He’s just not that into you” , a character called Mary asked her friend who was contemplating having an affair with a married man, this question ;

Mary ;  ”What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to just let them pass you by?”

Assuming the answer to this question was no, this basically means that if the love of your life was married, you would go out of your way to tempt him into being with you simply because he might be the “one”.

We need to attach some measure of realism to this argument. For instance, there are close to 7 billion people on the planet. Which means that the odds of that person being the one are very, very slim. Let’s assume he leaves his wife to be with you, and you eventually get married. So after your marriage vows have been taken, you meet someone else whom you like for some unexplainable reason. A part of you wants to say ” What if this new guy could be the one, and I’ve made a mistake?” Are you seriously going to leave the person you encouraged to break his marriage vows for another person , and keep moving on to the next person you are attracted to simply because you keep chasing an idea of the “One” ?

The idea here is that there are very many people in the world, and you are going to be attracted to very many of those people. If you keep following the tune of attraction, then you are just going to be chasing the wind for a very long time even though you know it won’t get you where you want to be.  All I’m trying to say here is that self – restraint goes a long way.

It says a lot for the type of society we live in when people justify cheating because the person they are doing it with may be the love of their lives. Why do we keep chasing this idea of  Mr. /Mrs. Perfect  to the extent that we can tell the world to go to blazes even when our conscience is clearly telling us otherwise?  I think this  dream of finding  Mr./Mrs. Perfect , who will love you unconditionally and never attempt to change you , doesn’t do anything but create unrealistic expectations on other people who are only human. It just places too much pressure on another person to be all the things you wish you were. Hence the phrase “he/she makes me a better person”. And that is just a selfish idea because nobody can really make you a better person, except you.

Attraction is a part of love, but it isn’t all of it. Personally I think the test of love is not how long the attraction lasts, but whether you can commit to that person. As long as you can find the willingness to fight all forms of temptations ( and there will be a LOT of them) then nothing can ever really come between you and your other half. And that is what a lot of people forget . It is a test you will have to take over and over again, for as long as you are married and you always have to pass.

However, my answer to that question is yes. I believe that saying yes means saying “I will let you go, not because I don’t want you, but because this is just one more reason why I deserve something fantastic. I want to be a good person before my future partner comes along, not after they do, and I don’t want to carry more baggage than I already have. ”

It’s not everything you see in a store that you should , or you can have. Most of us have to save our money and pick what we think we really want and we have to be happy about our choices.  In the same vein, it’s not every man I see that I should fall in love with, and even if I have already fallen in love with that person, I have to respect that he is off the shelf and let him walk away. After all, if I cannot respect another’s marriage vows, who will respect mine?

Tagged : TB Joshua, Rita Dominic, Unlikeliest Couples In Sports, 168 passengers drown, Clifford Sule, British Couple Smuggle Nigerian Child, Naomi Nuhu Bajoga, Namibia coach quits

Headlines Newsview all

Nigerian Dominic Adesanya Arrested After He Jumped the White House fence and ran onto the North Lawn

A Maryland man jumped the White House fence and ran onto the North Lawn before being subdued Wednesday night. Dominic Adesanya, 23, stood on the North ... Full story

Jealous Boyfriend Warns President Obama - Video Video

A voter standing beside President Barack Obama as he was casting his early ballot for the 2014 midterm elections in Chicago warned the Commander-in-Chief: 'Don't ... Full story

Father abandons his three children in boarding school for eight years

Three children abandoned in a boarding school in Abule-Iroko in the Ado-Odo Ota Local Government Area of Ogun State are longing to meet their parents ... Full story

University Students Storm Lagos Club To Strip Dance For Money

Cave night club could have passed for any other club but it is not like any other in Nigeria. It is a strip club where ... Full story

Oscar Pistorius sentenced to 5 years in prison for the manslaughter of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp

There was almost complete silence in the courtroom as Oscar Pistorius was sentenced to five years in jail for the manslaughter of his girlfriend Reeva ...

Popular Musician Feyisayo Mojisola Oyetade Dies On Child Naming Ceremony Day

A popular hip-hop singer has died on the naming day of her 8-day-old baby boy. The singer, Feyisayo Mojisola Oyetade, who is a popular singer in ... Full story

Husband Snatching Mess: Femi Anibaba's Wife Tells Ronke Odusanya She Can Have Her Husband

Folape Sokoya, wife of Femi Anibaba, the man Ronke Odusanya was accused to have snatched, has finally spoken on the issue and has also wished ...

Boko Haram divided over peace talks with the Federal Government

Following the ceasefire deal the Federal Government entered into with Boko Haram, the violent fundamentalist sect has split into two. While one faction wants peace, ...

Dilish Mattews - The Truth About My Affair With Edo State Governor

Pretty and sexy Dillish Mathews, became famous when she made it to the top and announced the winner of the 2013 edition of Big Brother ...

Stephen Keshi expected in Ethiopia for contract talks

Former Super Eagles coach, Stephen Keshi, is expected in Ethiopia this week to finalise discussions with the country’s FA on the vacant national team job, ...

Boko Haram captures another town in Borno State

Suspected members of the terrorist sect, Boko Haram, have captured another Borno town, Abadam, after laying a massive siege to it. It was gathered from security ...

Comment on: What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?

Rate this article

0

Featured author

Paula Obiewkwe

Breaking News

Tonto Dikeh Remembers Late Mum In A Special Way

Nollywood actress turned singer, Tonto Dikeh, keeps making the news either for good or bad reasons. She is not new to controversies and she has ...

Denrele, Kennis Music Remembers Goldie Today.

As many celebrities celebrate their long days on earth, fans and friends on late singer Goldie, have continued to mourn the youthful exist of the ...

EBAH ANTI GAY LAW COURT APPLICATION DECISION BY ABUJA COURT

Yesterday his honour – Justice Abdul Kafarati finally ruled after 3 postponements on the Ebah application to have the Antigay law ( Same Sex marriage ...

2Face Idibia Releases New Video To Diaspora Woman Featuring Fally Ipupa

2Face Idibia’s Diaspora Woman, off “The Ascension” album, featuring Congolese internationally acclaimed artiste, Fally Ipupa.The video directed by multi-award winning music video director, Moe Musa, ...

Man, 40, Goes Into Drugs Business To Throw Lavish Wedding In December

Photo Credit:ndlea In order for him to throw an extravagant wedding ceremony in December, a 40-year-old patent medicine dealer tried his luck with drug business, but ...

Iyanya Wants More Waist For His 28th Birthday Party In UK

Wave making Nigerian artiste and winner of the 2008 edition of MTN Project Fame West Africa, Iyanya Onoyom Mbuk is currently having fun in all ...

I Won’t Take Any Insult On Halima Abubakar—Ruggedman Fumes

Nigerian rapper, Ruggedman, has urged bloggers to stop spreading falsehood about him and friend, Halima Abubakar.There have been reports online that the two celebs were ...

Stop Pressurizing Me To Get Pregnant- Toke Makinwa

On Air Personality, Toke Makinwa has called out those pressurizing her to get pregnant. The OAP who got married to her long time lover, Maje ...

My Husband Has Not Slept With Me For 9 Years—Woman Laments

A 30-year-old woman who has been denied action on bed by her husband has begged the court to dissolve her marriage of 18 years to ...

Jim Iyke Joins Politics Too

Popular Nollywood bad boy, Jim Iyke has joined other entertainers who have gone into politics. But unlike his other colleagues, he isn’t contesting for any ...