What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?

// Romance | What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?
Email to a friend Plain text Print version // Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font

If you watch medical dramas, like me, you might have either heard of or watched the show called Private Practice

In the show, there was a woman called Lorraine who was unable to have a baby and so used her sister as a surrogate, using her husbands sperm and her sister’s eggs. The sister eventually got pregnant.  However, it soon came to light that the sister and the husband were having an affair. And their explanation they had to offer was that they were in love.

I’m sure that one has heard stories like this often. Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe you’ve never even heard about something like this before. But it stirred something in me that I just had to write about.

Everyone wants to meet that special person who completes them and makes them feel special. But the lengths to which we go, in the name of love are simply depressing. Does falling in love mean I have to stomp on friendships, marriages, sisterhood, and all manner of relationships which should be sacred simply because I want so badly to be in “love” ?

I cannot say that men are more guilty of this or that women are more guilty of this because even if we say that women chase married men, there are men who chase married women as well. One could say that men are less concerned about love than women are and even if a man is chasing a married woman it could just be for the thrill or becuase he just wants sex. But on the other hand, there are also married men who go out of their way to have girlfriends  who know fully well that they are married.

But the issue is, why go after someone who’s married or in a relationship  in the first place? And why don’t married people respect their own vows?

In the film of  ”He’s just not that into you” , a character called Mary asked her friend who was contemplating having an affair with a married man, this question ;

Mary ;  ”What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to just let them pass you by?”

Assuming the answer to this question was no, this basically means that if the love of your life was married, you would go out of your way to tempt him into being with you simply because he might be the “one”.

We need to attach some measure of realism to this argument. For instance, there are close to 7 billion people on the planet. Which means that the odds of that person being the one are very, very slim. Let’s assume he leaves his wife to be with you, and you eventually get married. So after your marriage vows have been taken, you meet someone else whom you like for some unexplainable reason. A part of you wants to say ” What if this new guy could be the one, and I’ve made a mistake?” Are you seriously going to leave the person you encouraged to break his marriage vows for another person , and keep moving on to the next person you are attracted to simply because you keep chasing an idea of the “One” ?

The idea here is that there are very many people in the world, and you are going to be attracted to very many of those people. If you keep following the tune of attraction, then you are just going to be chasing the wind for a very long time even though you know it won’t get you where you want to be.  All I’m trying to say here is that self – restraint goes a long way.

It says a lot for the type of society we live in when people justify cheating because the person they are doing it with may be the love of their lives. Why do we keep chasing this idea of  Mr. /Mrs. Perfect  to the extent that we can tell the world to go to blazes even when our conscience is clearly telling us otherwise?  I think this  dream of finding  Mr./Mrs. Perfect , who will love you unconditionally and never attempt to change you , doesn’t do anything but create unrealistic expectations on other people who are only human. It just places too much pressure on another person to be all the things you wish you were. Hence the phrase “he/she makes me a better person”. And that is just a selfish idea because nobody can really make you a better person, except you.

Attraction is a part of love, but it isn’t all of it. Personally I think the test of love is not how long the attraction lasts, but whether you can commit to that person. As long as you can find the willingness to fight all forms of temptations ( and there will be a LOT of them) then nothing can ever really come between you and your other half. And that is what a lot of people forget . It is a test you will have to take over and over again, for as long as you are married and you always have to pass.

However, my answer to that question is yes. I believe that saying yes means saying “I will let you go, not because I don’t want you, but because this is just one more reason why I deserve something fantastic. I want to be a good person before my future partner comes along, not after they do, and I don’t want to carry more baggage than I already have. ”

It’s not everything you see in a store that you should , or you can have. Most of us have to save our money and pick what we think we really want and we have to be happy about our choices.  In the same vein, it’s not every man I see that I should fall in love with, and even if I have already fallen in love with that person, I have to respect that he is off the shelf and let him walk away. After all, if I cannot respect another’s marriage vows, who will respect mine?

Tagged : TB Joshua, Rita Dominic, Unlikeliest Couples In Sports, 168 passengers drown, Clifford Sule, British Couple Smuggle Nigerian Child, Naomi Nuhu Bajoga, Namibia coach quits

Headlines Newsview all

Multiple Bomb Blasts At Gombe Motor Park, Many Feared Dead!

Reports reaching us suggest that a multiple bomb explosion this morning rocked the Gombe Line Motor Park in Gombe, the Gombe state capital, killing at least ...

Burkina Faso's President Blaise Compaore Resigns After Ruling For 27 Years

Burkina Faso's President Blaise Compaore is no longer in power, an army spokesman has told demonstrators in the capital, Ouagadougou. Mr Compaore had earlier said he ... Full story

Boko Haram Militants Kill Lecturer And Family, Seize Northeast Nigerian Town Of Mubi

Islamist Boko Haram militants have seized control of the northeast Nigerian town of Mubi, killing dozens of people and forcing thousands to flee, witnesses said. The ... Full story

Joy Williams, 23 Year Old Nigerian Dies In Thailand After Illegal Buttock Augmentation Surgery

Joy Williams, 23, from Thamesmead, was described as a 'caring and funny' girl who was 'loved by everybody. She died on October 23 after travelling to ... Full story

Nigerian Soldiers Arrested For Working As Spies For Boko Haram

Soldiers in Nigeria’s military may be working as moles for Boko Haram, giving the terrorist group vital information about the military’s strategies and tactics. News site, ... Full story

Centers for Disease Control Admits Ebola Can Be Spread Through The Air

Ebola is a lot easier to catch than health officials have admitted — and can be contracted by contact with a doorknob contaminated by a ... Full story

Boko Haram Terrorists Invade Adamawa State, Besiege Mubi

Hundreds of Nigerian soldiers are reportedly leaving the town of Mubi in Adamawa State, as members of the terrorists’ group, Boko Haram, make advances to ... Full story

Nigeria's First Lesbian Wedding Takes Place In Lagos

The end times are finally here. Some of the things we used to say can never happen in Nigeria are beginning to unfold and unfurl ... Full story

Stephen Keshi Returns As Coach of Super Eagles

Chris Giwa, the Nigeria Football Association (NFA) Chairman who was restored to office on Thursday by a Jos court ruling, said on Monday that sacked ... Full story

Escaped Chibok Girl Reveals How Boko Haram Militants Raped, Beat Them Every Night

He soon began to threaten me with a knife to have sex with him and when I refused, he brought out his gun, warning that ...

Kenneth Okolie, Former Mr Nigeria Eyes Politics

Nollywood actor and model, Kenneth Okolie, has disclosed that dating an actress is the worst mistake an actor can make. The former Mr. Nigeria, who is ...

Comment on: What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?

Rate this article

0

Featured author

Paula Obiewkwe

Breaking News

Uche Nnanna Shares New Stunning Photos

Nollywood actress Uche Nnanna who relocated to Spain with her husband Richard Maduka after their April 2014 Wedding has not stopped sharing pictures of her ...

Kcee, Please Help The 4year Old Boy Bitten by Dogs in Igando and Leave Cars Alone By Nathan Nathaniel

No hating or what so ever, but does singer, Kcee, seriously need fleet of cars just to show how excited he is about his fortune ...

I Don't Mind Going to the Court at Old Age……… Yvonne Jegede

Nollywood actress, Yvonne Jegede, has revealed that he long absence in the make-belief industry, was to make her get another career in which she could ...

I am Yet to Spend my N3 Million…….Singer, Emmaculate Patience Edache

MTN Project Fame West Africa season 6 first runner-up, Emmaculate Patience Edache, has revealed that the prize money she won at the reality show is ...

Nigerian Artistes Should Learn From Me- Eedris Abdulkareem

One time top Nigerian rapper, Eedris Abdulkareem has beckoned on other budding music stars to learn from him and his style of music.Eedris analysed the ...

What Is It Called When There Is Too Much Maggi In A Food?

Do you have a story/gist for publication? Please email it to story@nigeriafilms.com Wahala de Ben | 10/31/2014 2:45:06 AM Ok na me call am maggri hahaha l no ...

Annie Idibia's Words For Single Ladies

Do you have a story/gist for publication? Please email it to story@nigeriafilms.com Anis | 10/31/2014 12:28:23 AM You are indeed a queen blessed and crowned by God ...

How Childlessness Almost Tore 6-Year Old Marriage Apart

The once lovely union between one Mr. Sodiq Oseni and his wife, Kemi, was at the verge of hitting the rocks but for the intervention ...

COSON does not Support any Political Party……. Tony Okoroji

Copyright Society of Nigeria (COSON) has announced that it is throwing its weight solidly behind the aspiration of its frontline member, Kenny St. Best (KSB) ...

"Mobile Phones: A Curse Of A Blessing?"

In the twenty first century, mobile phones are having such a large impact that they have become an in inevitable part of our society. Nowadays, ...