If you watch medical dramas, like me, you might have either heard of or watched the show called Private Practice
In the show, there was a woman called Lorraine who was unable to have a baby and so used her sister as a surrogate, using her husbands sperm and her sister’s eggs. The sister eventually got pregnant. However, it soon came to light that the sister and the husband were having an affair. And their explanation they had to offer was that they were in love.
I’m sure that one has heard stories like this often. Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe you’ve never even heard about something like this before. But it stirred something in me that I just had to write about.
Everyone wants to meet that special person who completes them and makes them feel special. But the lengths to which we go, in the name of love are simply depressing. Does falling in love mean I have to stomp on friendships, marriages, sisterhood, and all manner of relationships which should be sacred simply because I want so badly to be in “love” ?
I cannot say that men are more guilty of this or that women are more guilty of this because even if we say that women chase married men, there are men who chase married women as well. One could say that men are less concerned about love than women are and even if a man is chasing a married woman it could just be for the thrill or becuase he just wants sex. But on the other hand, there are also married men who go out of their way to have girlfriends who know fully well that they are married.
But the issue is, why go after someone who’s married or in a relationship in the first place? And why don’t married people respect their own vows?
In the film of ”He’s just not that into you” , a character called Mary asked her friend who was contemplating having an affair with a married man, this question ;
Mary ; ”What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to just let them pass you by?”
Assuming the answer to this question was no, this basically means that if the love of your life was married, you would go out of your way to tempt him into being with you simply because he might be the “one”.
We need to attach some measure of realism to this argument. For instance, there are close to 7 billion people on the planet. Which means that the odds of that person being the one are very, very slim. Let’s assume he leaves his wife to be with you, and you eventually get married. So after your marriage vows have been taken, you meet someone else whom you like for some unexplainable reason. A part of you wants to say ” What if this new guy could be the one, and I’ve made a mistake?” Are you seriously going to leave the person you encouraged to break his marriage vows for another person , and keep moving on to the next person you are attracted to simply because you keep chasing an idea of the “One” ?
The idea here is that there are very many people in the world, and you are going to be attracted to very many of those people. If you keep following the tune of attraction, then you are just going to be chasing the wind for a very long time even though you know it won’t get you where you want to be. All I’m trying to say here is that self – restraint goes a long way.
It says a lot for the type of society we live in when people justify cheating because the person they are doing it with may be the love of their lives. Why do we keep chasing this idea of Mr. /Mrs. Perfect to the extent that we can tell the world to go to blazes even when our conscience is clearly telling us otherwise? I think this dream of finding Mr./Mrs. Perfect , who will love you unconditionally and never attempt to change you , doesn’t do anything but create unrealistic expectations on other people who are only human. It just places too much pressure on another person to be all the things you wish you were. Hence the phrase “he/she makes me a better person”. And that is just a selfish idea because nobody can really make you a better person, except you.
Attraction is a part of love, but it isn’t all of it. Personally I think the test of love is not how long the attraction lasts, but whether you can commit to that person. As long as you can find the willingness to fight all forms of temptations ( and there will be a LOT of them) then nothing can ever really come between you and your other half. And that is what a lot of people forget . It is a test you will have to take over and over again, for as long as you are married and you always have to pass.
However, my answer to that question is yes. I believe that saying yes means saying “I will let you go, not because I don’t want you, but because this is just one more reason why I deserve something fantastic. I want to be a good person before my future partner comes along, not after they do, and I don’t want to carry more baggage than I already have. ”
It’s not everything you see in a store that you should , or you can have. Most of us have to save our money and pick what we think we really want and we have to be happy about our choices. In the same vein, it’s not every man I see that I should fall in love with, and even if I have already fallen in love with that person, I have to respect that he is off the shelf and let him walk away. After all, if I cannot respect another’s marriage vows, who will respect mine?
Headlines Newsview all
A Nigerian man who arrived Iceland last August, has been arrested for deliberately infecting women with the HIV. Police are currently investigating the case, particularly as ... Full story
What's the worst thing that can happen...you'll be single. Is singlehood so bad? Watch Rhythm FM OAP, Toke Makinwa's Vlog of the Week. She has been ... Full story
The American lady who accused Timaya of rape, has finally released evidence of report filed against the singer. Since the news of the alleged rape broke ... Full story
Rate this article
- Not Again! Buhari Forgets The Full Meaning Of APC During Meeting With Obama - Video
- President Buhari Rejects Gay Marriage Offer
- HILARIOUS: Checkout 5 Top Politicians Who Were Caught Sleeping On Duty
Renowned Senior Advocate of Nigeria, Femi Falana, has finally spoken about his musician son, Folarin better known as Falz, who is enjoying his sudden rise ...
Former Botlon Wanderers skipper and Nigerian star, Austin Jay Jay Okocha, could be on the verge of a shock move to amateur side Wolverton Town ...
In a recent interview with The Entertainer, fast rising Nollywood actor, Mike Godson revealed one of his best kept advices from his mum. The Imo ...
It would be recalled that some weeks back, a story of a young man who stripped down in a banking hall after he was illegally ...
Nollywood actor, Jim Iyke, is not ready to take things likely with his debtors especially now that he needs money to pump into his water ...
Nollywood actress, Moji OLaiya, has joined the train of entertainers who are investing their money wisely to diversify into other businesses. Rather than remain dependent on ...
May God help the situation of Nigerian singer, Timaya as his alleged rape saga continues to get messier as the day goes by without any ...
Nollywood actress, Omotola Jalade, is really making a lot of men to salivate with her beauty which continues to radiate as the day goes by. The ...
Relief has come for individuals who are looking to change currency in the black market as the rate of naira to a dollar increased yesterday, ... Full story