What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?

// Romance | What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?
Email to a friend Plain text Print version // Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font

If you watch medical dramas, like me, you might have either heard of or watched the show called Private Practice

In the show, there was a woman called Lorraine who was unable to have a baby and so used her sister as a surrogate, using her husbands sperm and her sister’s eggs. The sister eventually got pregnant.  However, it soon came to light that the sister and the husband were having an affair. And their explanation they had to offer was that they were in love.

I’m sure that one has heard stories like this often. Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe you’ve never even heard about something like this before. But it stirred something in me that I just had to write about.

Everyone wants to meet that special person who completes them and makes them feel special. But the lengths to which we go, in the name of love are simply depressing. Does falling in love mean I have to stomp on friendships, marriages, sisterhood, and all manner of relationships which should be sacred simply because I want so badly to be in “love” ?

I cannot say that men are more guilty of this or that women are more guilty of this because even if we say that women chase married men, there are men who chase married women as well. One could say that men are less concerned about love than women are and even if a man is chasing a married woman it could just be for the thrill or becuase he just wants sex. But on the other hand, there are also married men who go out of their way to have girlfriends  who know fully well that they are married.

But the issue is, why go after someone who’s married or in a relationship  in the first place? And why don’t married people respect their own vows?

In the film of  ”He’s just not that into you” , a character called Mary asked her friend who was contemplating having an affair with a married man, this question ;

Mary ;  ”What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to just let them pass you by?”

Assuming the answer to this question was no, this basically means that if the love of your life was married, you would go out of your way to tempt him into being with you simply because he might be the “one”.

We need to attach some measure of realism to this argument. For instance, there are close to 7 billion people on the planet. Which means that the odds of that person being the one are very, very slim. Let’s assume he leaves his wife to be with you, and you eventually get married. So after your marriage vows have been taken, you meet someone else whom you like for some unexplainable reason. A part of you wants to say ” What if this new guy could be the one, and I’ve made a mistake?” Are you seriously going to leave the person you encouraged to break his marriage vows for another person , and keep moving on to the next person you are attracted to simply because you keep chasing an idea of the “One” ?

The idea here is that there are very many people in the world, and you are going to be attracted to very many of those people. If you keep following the tune of attraction, then you are just going to be chasing the wind for a very long time even though you know it won’t get you where you want to be.  All I’m trying to say here is that self – restraint goes a long way.

It says a lot for the type of society we live in when people justify cheating because the person they are doing it with may be the love of their lives. Why do we keep chasing this idea of  Mr. /Mrs. Perfect  to the extent that we can tell the world to go to blazes even when our conscience is clearly telling us otherwise?  I think this  dream of finding  Mr./Mrs. Perfect , who will love you unconditionally and never attempt to change you , doesn’t do anything but create unrealistic expectations on other people who are only human. It just places too much pressure on another person to be all the things you wish you were. Hence the phrase “he/she makes me a better person”. And that is just a selfish idea because nobody can really make you a better person, except you.

Attraction is a part of love, but it isn’t all of it. Personally I think the test of love is not how long the attraction lasts, but whether you can commit to that person. As long as you can find the willingness to fight all forms of temptations ( and there will be a LOT of them) then nothing can ever really come between you and your other half. And that is what a lot of people forget . It is a test you will have to take over and over again, for as long as you are married and you always have to pass.

However, my answer to that question is yes. I believe that saying yes means saying “I will let you go, not because I don’t want you, but because this is just one more reason why I deserve something fantastic. I want to be a good person before my future partner comes along, not after they do, and I don’t want to carry more baggage than I already have. ”

It’s not everything you see in a store that you should , or you can have. Most of us have to save our money and pick what we think we really want and we have to be happy about our choices.  In the same vein, it’s not every man I see that I should fall in love with, and even if I have already fallen in love with that person, I have to respect that he is off the shelf and let him walk away. After all, if I cannot respect another’s marriage vows, who will respect mine?

Tagged : TB Joshua, Rita Dominic, Unlikeliest Couples In Sports, 168 passengers drown, Clifford Sule, British Couple Smuggle Nigerian Child, Naomi Nuhu Bajoga, Namibia coach quits

Headlines Newsview all

70% of candidates fail 2014 WASSCE

Of the 246,853 candidates who sat for the November/December 2014 West African Senior School Certificate Examination, only 72,522 candidates, representing 29.37 per cent, obtained credits ... Full story

Mr. Ibu Shows Off Massive Weight Loss In New Photos

Well, Mr. Ibu seems to have lost quite a lot of weight lately! Most likely for height reasons, he's channelling Rick Ross ... Full story

Boko Haram Kill 32; Kidnap 185 Women And Children In Borno

Multiple sources have it that Boko Haram, the deadly sect waging an insurgency against the state have killed 32 people in Borno State, and kidnapped ... Full story

Alhaji Bappa Tilde, Ex-Bauchi Accountant-General Shot Dead

Former Accountant-General of Bauchi State, Alhaji Bappa Tilde who was abducted last Saturday has been killed. According to residents, Tilde, 72, was brought by his abductors ... Full story

Inmate dies in prison after six adjournments to his trial

A man who was remanded in prison for attempting to steal his brother's money from an ATM has died due to the ineptitude of prison ... Full story

Seyi Shay Grabs Wizkid's Crotch in New Video

So, Seyi Shay and Wizkid featured in this new video titled 'Crazy', and Seyi Shay seems to have done something very crazy; she grabbed Wizkid's ... Full story

Couple tortured by police sue for N100m

The couple brutalized by a police corporal in Lagos, Ejeh and Grace Smith, is suing the police authorities for damages. The Lagos couple that was brutalized ... Full story

Boko Haram Abducts 185 Women, Kills 32

Boko Haram insurgents kidnapped at least 185 women and children, and killed 32 people in a raid in northeastern Nigeria this week, local officials and ... Full story

Gospel Musician Kenny Saint Brown Says APC Stole Her Mandate For Lai Mohammaed's Son

Gospel singer, Kenny Saint Brown does not believe she lost out in the APC primary elections but rather her mandate was stolen Gospel singer, Kenny Saint ... Full story

Boko Haram Threatens To Attack Emir of Kano, Muhammadu Sanusi II

Boko Haram leader, Abubakar Shekau, has threatened to attack the Emir of Kano, Muhammadu Sanusi II, in retaliation for the Emir’s call on Kano residents ...

Police arrest power-drunk cop’s team members in the Lekki area of Lagos State

The police have arrested other six cops at the scene of the torture of a couple in the Lekki area of Lagos State. A police source ... Full story

Comment on: What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?

Rate this article

0

Featured author

chuky01

Breaking News

AGN President, Ibinabo Gushes over Husband after Stepping out of Church (Photos)

‘He, who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.’ This is the current tale of Actors Guild of Nigeria’s ...

Photos From Daystar Christain Centre Christmas Carol

Members, friends and families worshiped God in an atmosphere of joy and laughter on Sunday December 14th at one of the most anticipated Carol Concerts, ...

If Your Wife Was Fat, You Wouldn’t Have Married Her…..Fan Blast Paul Okoye

Social media banters has hit Nigeria’s adored singer, Paul Okoye after he posted a picture of girl who attempts to use scissors to cut her ...

Why My Marriage Crashed – Alex Okoroji

Alex Okoroji, daughter of ex-musician and PMAN President, Chief Tony Okoroji has revealed why her marriage crashed like a tokunbo car engine. The actress confessed that ...

Married Chief Tony Okoroji's Daughter Back To Spinsterhood

While some celebrities are happily tying the knots in 2014, others are as well walking out of their marriages and long relationships. The latest to return ...

VIDEO: Daddy Showkey ft. HarrySong – Asalamabeez

Story by Nigeriafilms.com Last Updated:7 minutes ago Brand new visual from Nigerian music icon, Daddy Showkey. He teams up with Five Star Music’s HarrySong on this one. ...

Exclusive Marriage Update: AGN President, Ibinabo Finally Signs Marriage Documents

Nigeriafilms.com correspondent at the ongoing White wedding of the Actors Guild of Nigeria’s President, Ibinabo Fiberesima, says the wedding has commenced immediately after the marriage ...

Oil workers suspend nationwide strike

Oil workers under the Petroleum and Natural Gas Senior Staff Association of Nigeria (PENGASSAN) and the National Union of Petroleum and Natural Gas Worker (NUPENG) ...

Onigbinde urges Keshi to quit Eagles

Former Nigeria coach, Adegboye Onigbinde, said he has personally written to out of contract Super Eagles coach, Stephen Keshi, to quietly seek greener pastures elsewhere.Several ...

Pastors Are Ogboni Members – Otunba Meshioye

OTUNBA-FRACIS-OLUWAGBENRO Otunba Francis Meshioye, Olori Oluwo of the Reformed Ogboni Fraternity (ROF) made some revelations recently. The supreme leader of Ogboni in Nigeria said some popular ...