If you watch medical dramas, like me, you might have either heard of or watched the show called Private Practice
In the show, there was a woman called Lorraine who was unable to have a baby and so used her sister as a surrogate, using her husbands sperm and her sister’s eggs. The sister eventually got pregnant. However, it soon came to light that the sister and the husband were having an affair. And their explanation they had to offer was that they were in love.
I’m sure that one has heard stories like this often. Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe you’ve never even heard about something like this before. But it stirred something in me that I just had to write about.
Everyone wants to meet that special person who completes them and makes them feel special. But the lengths to which we go, in the name of love are simply depressing. Does falling in love mean I have to stomp on friendships, marriages, sisterhood, and all manner of relationships which should be sacred simply because I want so badly to be in “love” ?
I cannot say that men are more guilty of this or that women are more guilty of this because even if we say that women chase married men, there are men who chase married women as well. One could say that men are less concerned about love than women are and even if a man is chasing a married woman it could just be for the thrill or becuase he just wants sex. But on the other hand, there are also married men who go out of their way to have girlfriends who know fully well that they are married.
But the issue is, why go after someone who’s married or in a relationship in the first place? And why don’t married people respect their own vows?
In the film of ”He’s just not that into you” , a character called Mary asked her friend who was contemplating having an affair with a married man, this question ;
Mary ; ”What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to just let them pass you by?”
Assuming the answer to this question was no, this basically means that if the love of your life was married, you would go out of your way to tempt him into being with you simply because he might be the “one”.
We need to attach some measure of realism to this argument. For instance, there are close to 7 billion people on the planet. Which means that the odds of that person being the one are very, very slim. Let’s assume he leaves his wife to be with you, and you eventually get married. So after your marriage vows have been taken, you meet someone else whom you like for some unexplainable reason. A part of you wants to say ” What if this new guy could be the one, and I’ve made a mistake?” Are you seriously going to leave the person you encouraged to break his marriage vows for another person , and keep moving on to the next person you are attracted to simply because you keep chasing an idea of the “One” ?
The idea here is that there are very many people in the world, and you are going to be attracted to very many of those people. If you keep following the tune of attraction, then you are just going to be chasing the wind for a very long time even though you know it won’t get you where you want to be. All I’m trying to say here is that self – restraint goes a long way.
It says a lot for the type of society we live in when people justify cheating because the person they are doing it with may be the love of their lives. Why do we keep chasing this idea of Mr. /Mrs. Perfect to the extent that we can tell the world to go to blazes even when our conscience is clearly telling us otherwise? I think this dream of finding Mr./Mrs. Perfect , who will love you unconditionally and never attempt to change you , doesn’t do anything but create unrealistic expectations on other people who are only human. It just places too much pressure on another person to be all the things you wish you were. Hence the phrase “he/she makes me a better person”. And that is just a selfish idea because nobody can really make you a better person, except you.
Attraction is a part of love, but it isn’t all of it. Personally I think the test of love is not how long the attraction lasts, but whether you can commit to that person. As long as you can find the willingness to fight all forms of temptations ( and there will be a LOT of them) then nothing can ever really come between you and your other half. And that is what a lot of people forget . It is a test you will have to take over and over again, for as long as you are married and you always have to pass.
However, my answer to that question is yes. I believe that saying yes means saying “I will let you go, not because I don’t want you, but because this is just one more reason why I deserve something fantastic. I want to be a good person before my future partner comes along, not after they do, and I don’t want to carry more baggage than I already have. ”
It’s not everything you see in a store that you should , or you can have. Most of us have to save our money and pick what we think we really want and we have to be happy about our choices. In the same vein, it’s not every man I see that I should fall in love with, and even if I have already fallen in love with that person, I have to respect that he is off the shelf and let him walk away. After all, if I cannot respect another’s marriage vows, who will respect mine?
Headlines Newsview all
The faces of the Ikorodu Bank robbers have been unveiled by the Lagos state police command. It would be recalled that the gang of armed robbers ... Full story
FEW weeks after a community leader, Chief Innocent Arodu, was killed by gunmen, his aged mother, Madam Fester Arodu, has cried out for justice. Arodu, who ... Full story
Rate this article
- Video Footage Of 2nd Jos Bomb Blast
- Listen To Leaked Call Of Jim Iyke Cursing Out Emma Agu
- Wale Expected Back In Nigeria Soon To Release A Track With Olamide
The kinsmen of Kamilu Salaudeen are growing increasingly concerned for the young man’s welfare after he never returned home over two months since he left ...
Beyond the new logo Wema Bank has launched, beyond the new brand Wema Bank would want you to buy into, there is a rotten system. ...
Photos: Nigerian Billionaire, Chairman of Etisalat Nigeria, Hakeem Bello-Osagie Celebrates 60th Birthday
Nigerian Billionaire Hakeem Bello-Osagie, who is the Chairman of Etisalat Nigeria, recently celebrated his 60th birthday in London. Bello-Osagie is listed by Forbes as the 40th ...
Story by Olufamous Last Updated: 5 hours ago I don't know what actress Chidera Adiele stand to gain by showing everyone her body like this, but we ...
These days of the social media is an era when ladies think they know everything and the guys too are not yet in a hurry ...
The Fenerbahce striker, Emmanuel Emenike is upset with his coach especially for ‘leaking’ his personal information to the media. According to the striker, he was ...
Following the legalisation of gay marriages in the United States of America, Afrobeat musician, Seun Kuti, has reacted to Nigerians who have continued to obsess ...
Responding to viral reports that he had converted to Islam, Nigerian international football player, Emmanuel Emenike, shared the above image on social media and captioned: “I ... Full story
The fuel crisis situation in the country got worse through the weekend as the scarcity continued unabated in Lagos Abuja, Nasarawa and environs. This is happening ...
Aww it’s a season of welcoming babies in the entertainment industry. Just after Karen Igho put to bed yesterday, ace photographer Yomi Black and wife, ...