What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?

// Romance | What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?
Email to a friend Plain text Print version // Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font

If you watch medical dramas, like me, you might have either heard of or watched the show called Private Practice

In the show, there was a woman called Lorraine who was unable to have a baby and so used her sister as a surrogate, using her husbands sperm and her sister’s eggs. The sister eventually got pregnant.  However, it soon came to light that the sister and the husband were having an affair. And their explanation they had to offer was that they were in love.

I’m sure that one has heard stories like this often. Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe you’ve never even heard about something like this before. But it stirred something in me that I just had to write about.

Everyone wants to meet that special person who completes them and makes them feel special. But the lengths to which we go, in the name of love are simply depressing. Does falling in love mean I have to stomp on friendships, marriages, sisterhood, and all manner of relationships which should be sacred simply because I want so badly to be in “love” ?

I cannot say that men are more guilty of this or that women are more guilty of this because even if we say that women chase married men, there are men who chase married women as well. One could say that men are less concerned about love than women are and even if a man is chasing a married woman it could just be for the thrill or becuase he just wants sex. But on the other hand, there are also married men who go out of their way to have girlfriends  who know fully well that they are married.

But the issue is, why go after someone who’s married or in a relationship  in the first place? And why don’t married people respect their own vows?

In the film of  ”He’s just not that into you” , a character called Mary asked her friend who was contemplating having an affair with a married man, this question ;

Mary ;  ”What if you meet the love of your life, are you supposed to just let them pass you by?”

Assuming the answer to this question was no, this basically means that if the love of your life was married, you would go out of your way to tempt him into being with you simply because he might be the “one”.

We need to attach some measure of realism to this argument. For instance, there are close to 7 billion people on the planet. Which means that the odds of that person being the one are very, very slim. Let’s assume he leaves his wife to be with you, and you eventually get married. So after your marriage vows have been taken, you meet someone else whom you like for some unexplainable reason. A part of you wants to say ” What if this new guy could be the one, and I’ve made a mistake?” Are you seriously going to leave the person you encouraged to break his marriage vows for another person , and keep moving on to the next person you are attracted to simply because you keep chasing an idea of the “One” ?

The idea here is that there are very many people in the world, and you are going to be attracted to very many of those people. If you keep following the tune of attraction, then you are just going to be chasing the wind for a very long time even though you know it won’t get you where you want to be.  All I’m trying to say here is that self – restraint goes a long way.

It says a lot for the type of society we live in when people justify cheating because the person they are doing it with may be the love of their lives. Why do we keep chasing this idea of  Mr. /Mrs. Perfect  to the extent that we can tell the world to go to blazes even when our conscience is clearly telling us otherwise?  I think this  dream of finding  Mr./Mrs. Perfect , who will love you unconditionally and never attempt to change you , doesn’t do anything but create unrealistic expectations on other people who are only human. It just places too much pressure on another person to be all the things you wish you were. Hence the phrase “he/she makes me a better person”. And that is just a selfish idea because nobody can really make you a better person, except you.

Attraction is a part of love, but it isn’t all of it. Personally I think the test of love is not how long the attraction lasts, but whether you can commit to that person. As long as you can find the willingness to fight all forms of temptations ( and there will be a LOT of them) then nothing can ever really come between you and your other half. And that is what a lot of people forget . It is a test you will have to take over and over again, for as long as you are married and you always have to pass.

However, my answer to that question is yes. I believe that saying yes means saying “I will let you go, not because I don’t want you, but because this is just one more reason why I deserve something fantastic. I want to be a good person before my future partner comes along, not after they do, and I don’t want to carry more baggage than I already have. ”

It’s not everything you see in a store that you should , or you can have. Most of us have to save our money and pick what we think we really want and we have to be happy about our choices.  In the same vein, it’s not every man I see that I should fall in love with, and even if I have already fallen in love with that person, I have to respect that he is off the shelf and let him walk away. After all, if I cannot respect another’s marriage vows, who will respect mine?

Tagged : TB Joshua, Rita Dominic, Unlikeliest Couples In Sports, 168 passengers drown, Clifford Sule, British Couple Smuggle Nigerian Child, Naomi Nuhu Bajoga, Namibia coach quits

Headlines Newsview all

10 Year Old Girl In Katsina State Found With Explosives Attached To Her Body

Authorities yesterday found a  10-year-old girl in Katsina state, strapped with explosives. Two suspected Boko Haram members were found travelling with the girl in a Honda ... Full story

Ebola virus: Minister of Health reveals 69 persons on surveillance, two quarantined

The Federal Government has placed 69 persons, who had first contact with the Liberian-born victim of Ebola Virus, Patrick Sawyerr, on surveillance, while two persons ...

Yinka Offehin, 35, Fighting For His Life After Landlady’s Children Cut His Private Parts

A 35-year-old man, Yinka Offehin, is battling for his life at a private hospital in Lagos State after his scrotum was cut by the children ... Full story

Patrick Sawyer’s Aide Shows Signs Of Ebola Virus Infection In Lagos,

Less than 7 days after the death of a Liberian Health Official who came to Nigeria for a conference, another case of Ebola infection has ... Full story

Fourth female suicide attack in Kano kills 6

A female suicide bomber killed six people at a college campus in Kano city today, the fourth time Boko Haram Islamists were suspected of using ...

Asari Dokubo Slams President Jonathan’s Comments On Buhari

The Leader of Niger-Delta Peoples Volunteers Force, Alhaji Mujahid Dokubo-Asari, on Tuesday slammed President Goodluck Jonathan over his comment that Nigeria would have boiled if ...

Chibok girls’ parents, community leaders clash over Jonathan's N100m largesse

Controversy has erupted between parents of the kidnapped girls and leaders of the Chibok community in Abuja over an alleged N100m largesse given by President ...

Oby Ezekwesili: Female suicide bombers may be Chibok girls

Former minister and one of the leaders of the #BringBackOurGirls, Dr. Oby Ezekwesili, has raised an alarm on the increasing use of teenage girls as ...

Mallam Nasir El-Rufai loses son in Abuja road crash

Tragedy hit the home of the former Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Mallam Nasir El-Rufai, in the early morning of Tuesday when his son, ...

Blessing Okagbare Wins 100 Metres Gold At Glasgow Commonwealth Games - Video

Blessing Okagbare wins women’s 100 metres gold in 10.85 seconds to increase Team Nigeria’s medals haul at the ongoing Commonwealth Games in Glasgow. Okagbare also erased ...

Bomb Blast Rocks Kano Again, Many Feared Dead

Another explosion hit Kano, coming just 24 hours after the state suffered three bomb explosions in different locations. Today’s blast took place at the NNPC ...

Comment on: What If He/ She is the Love Of My Life?

Rate this article

0

Featured author

Reinetta Zachary

Breaking News

Nollywood Can Turn Nigerian Tourism into a Billon Dollar Industry

No one can deny the huge impact of the film industry on tourism and the best example is Hollywood, the film capital of the world ...

Chika Ike Says She Has Kim Kardarshian's Figure{Photos}

Some celebrities have mentors, role models for some certain things they do or they have become.One of them is Nollywood actress Chika Ike, who has ...

Pirates Hands Should Be Cut Off- Stella Monye

Piracy has been one of the challenges faced in the music and movie industry in recent times and some artistes have blamed their not raising ...

Introducing CaptainE Africa's Youngest Music Producer - Omotola's Son launches into Music

Do you have a story/gist for publication? Please email it to story@nigeriafilms.com < | 8/1/2014 9:35:11 PM Beau garçon, but I think u are a little beat ...

Omosexy Scores Big In Ghana

Earlier in 2012, CNN Travel noted Omotola Jalade’s famous tongue (accent) on their list of the world's 12 sexiest accents. The Nigerian accent ranked 5th ...

How Scared Is Toyin Aimaku Of Ebola Virus?

With the recent outbreak of the Ebola virus which has been a serious threat to Nigerians after a Liberian diplomat was confirmed dead of the ...

Ghanaian Filmakers Are Infringing On ECOWAS Treaties – Uchenna Mbunabo

Nigerian veteran film producer, Uchenna Mbunabo, has revealed to Mustapha Inusah that the way Ghanaian film producers are treating Nigerian filmmakers in Ghana is a ...

2Baba Has Done It Again!!!

Do you have a story/gist for publication? Please email it to story@nigeriafilms.com Jerry Gold | 8/1/2014 4:24:41 PM Am very excited about d award.... Congratulation to 2baba. Reply ...

I Used Jennifer Lopez Secret: I Am Not Bleaching Please…..Actress, Chiamaka Nwokeukwu

Fast rising Nollywood actress, Chiamaka Nwokeukwu, is gradually carving a niche for herself as she has been nominated in two awards; the Choice Awards and ...

Man kills lover in Lagos, flees to Ghana

The Lagos State Police Command, yesterday, disclosed that it was close to apprehending the 33-year-old man who allegedly strangled his lover, a 39-year-old mother of ...